I’m not going to lie—I had a panic attack as the three guards walked me up to the flying saucer drone ship. I wasn’t even consciously aware of all of the anxiety triggers I was dealing with. There was the obvious stuff that I was about to be handed over to the Double-Oes.
Then there was the fact that I was about to board an alien ship. Then there was the fact that I had no choice in the matter. Then there was the fact that I’d handed over my only ace-up-my-sleeve to some alien doctor whom I truly hoped was as good a person as she seemed. Then there was the part where I was breathing an alien atmosphere and that (hopefully) super nice alien doctor had found that my DNA had been edited to make me part Double-O and THAT was after learning that my lungs had somehow been adapted to breathe that alien atmosphere I mentioned before. I mean—what else in me could be changed?
As we approached the ramp, we were met by another alien man who looked like he was the same species as Dr. Green. He eyed me suspiciously and then spoke.
“I don’t know what the good doctor sees in you but I promised her I’d tell you that she was hard at work on your issue and that Surin is on a ship to his home world as we speak.”
Yep—he spoke English. I immediately thought of all the questions I wanted to ask him but immediately boiled it down to one:
“What’s going on?”
“You are being used as a political bargaining chip, I’m afraid. If there was any other way, I’d take it. I don’t abridge the rights of any sovereign beings rights without good cause and you, you are quite the… wild card.”
I just stared into his dark eyes hoping for, I’m not sure what… but I didn’t get it. He nodded to one of his guards and they shoved me forward, onto the ramp. I looked up to see three Double-Oes staring down at me with their weird, wide eyes. One smiled and nodded at the guy who spoke English as the other two each took an arm and guided me up the ramp. I felt a lump in my throat the size of a Toyota. I could feel a swelling in my chest that reminded me of a child crying with an emotional pain beyond their own measure—you know, the kind where the kid cries so hard he runs out of air and can’t inhale fast enough before he tries to cry out again.
Please don’t judge me—I’m not an adventurer. I’m not a bad ass. I’m a guy who works for an insurance company. I spent my very unstable childhood being moved around from place to place, where ever my dad’s job took us, and never did a great job adapting. I always worried if I was about to get in trouble or my home or my friends. I guess I should be used to it but this was beyond anything I’d dealt with before.
I only mention all of this because as I entered the poorly lit hold of the saucer ship, I just started sobbing. I just sobbed. Tears flowed from my eyes. I didn”t even notice when the ramp closed up. I was barely aware of the alien people around me, I think there were several armed “Conva” and some unarmed. All I really remember was feeling my tears on my face with my hands but then feeling them on my arms. My clothes were drenched with it. Then I saw the lighting brighten and I could see that the tears weren’t clear, but dark and I was covered in it. Then I saw my dark tears all around me surrounding bodies of aliens and other, things… I saw a head… and a body near by. Some limbs, I think.
I killed them… I killed everyone in the hold and I don’t know how…